What the future holds

Bismlillahi awallu wa aakhiru.. 

Assalamu'alaikum... 

Regarding the title, I purposely made it so because I miss my minor course friend,, Ong Lii Jing. It's her whatsapp status... ^^ She has completed her studies and is graduating in a few months. We came from different races, backgrounds and hometowns but we do things together regarding our minor course. She studied journalism and I am studying maths but we somehow are connected by certain senses. Of what? that I'm not sure. 

Yet, Lii Jing isn't my main point here. I think I have posted much fewer than always. I had time but I had no ideas. I had ideas but as the ideas flows through my vein, it got stuck halfway and I had to erase everything upon disappointment -_- hopefully not this time ^^

Speaking of jobs and relationship. I currently am thinking of something good, and praise be to Allah that I doubt nothing about what I decided. In fact, I put up effort on beneficial and non-beneficial knowledge for what my future needs. But well, still, I think what I have is insufficient for what I need later. 

Like how Lii Jing did. she completed her studies. Surely she'll get relieved for having one phase of her life ended. I mean in an official kind of way. And still, non-officially, she still has a lot to do to improve, get her hands dirty and do many things to serve for the society. I believe she will because she is very good at writing. While I, at this point, still when people asks what will I do or what my seniors usually do after graduating. A dishonest answer, better said, a lazy answer (I rarely use my brain to answer these kind of questions) is teaching or further studies. Well. When it comes to my sense, I can be anything I want and do whatever I want to. As long as I have hearts in it. Or maybe not. My dad and mom like to mention about non-government sections. But well, I surely know what suits myself..

Relationships are hard to tell. We sometimes plan things this way, but it happens that way. Of what is certain everything is written and time will tell what and when will it happen. If Allah wills, I too, know how must I handle things. I know how serious it is and things would be getting involved into relationships and the responsibilities I will have to adapt with and surely, I am aware of that. I somehow am very thankful having such understanding family members for entirely accepting  my behavior and nature. 

Sometimes people compare myself to the people around me. Especially of those who 'crawls', 'walks' and 'accelerates' on the same path as I am. To me it is no good. Since I was a little girl, I had this 'believe' that nobody wood be the best. Even if someone is to be scaled the best, smartest, tallest, prettiest, whatever it is, there must be someone, whether in the past or in the future to be much better, taller prettier or whatever-er than they are. Scaling, at school or in studies may help encourage or higher one's self esteem, but that is on one side. We have to remember that there is another side where people become disappointed and discouraged for offending of what 'the bests' are achieving. I just hold onto that and I still believe it is so. 

The end, Allah ma'akum;)

I wish to not like any high heels. I wish things are better than it is now. <3 

That Soul We Have Been Missing

Bismillah... 

It is nearly 5 years since my aunt passed away. And still everybody misses her. It feels like she's still smiling, never get bored of giving us that generous smile. Nagging about her children in a beautiful way. 

And today, her children are becoming Hafiiz and Hafizah.I solute her husband. In this decade, everybody sends their children to national schools. But he sends my late aunts children to madrasah, where religion is the main syllabus of the education there. Alhamdulillah. Those babies are educated with Prophet Muhammad(p.b.u.h)'s teaching. Allahu, it is a blessing to my late aunt. Indeed, to Jannah she belongs. =) 

Her late husband has remarried. Well, I was angry at first. But I understand someone has to help him take care of my aunt's children. They deserve the love of a mother. Her children was 3,7,8,9 years old when she passed away. And forever, they became babies to each and every one of us in the family. Everybody took care of them for her. 

I somehow am grateful that this is what is written for my late aunt and I believe the Qada and Qadr. I believe that ever soul will leave their body and be relive on resurrection day for judgement.  

No word can express the emptiness..anak2 dan cucu2 mak duak yan,, everybody misses her.. Allah knows. 

Allah ma'akum.