What I used to want to be ...

Bismillahirrahmaanirrahiim wa Assalamualaikumwarahmatullahi wabarakaatuhu~ 

Since we were small pple kept on asking what we would like to be, what is your ambition, would you like to be this or that, such question which made us 'rambang mata' enough to pick what job does exactly suits you. When I was a little girl, I mean during primary school, my name was still my name -.-" *what??* my teachers used to record my achievements into a piece of card, and there was a question giving me 4 spaces of what my ambition would have been. =) Ahaaa! I totally wrote a teacher, a police, a lecturer and sometimes I write a lawyer... LOL.. why would I want to be a teacher or a lecturer?? maybe because all the entire family of my mom are teachers, so do her~ ouh dear... I was so easy to get influenced. Police? because there was a series drama entitled Gerak Khas and I watched it each and every week. -.-" *what a great reasoning* and a lawyer?? LOL... I've got no idea~ o.O 

Then in secondary school, there was no more of recording my ambition. But there were family members and teachers kept on asking what would I want to be. LOL. So the typical answer was to be a doctor... Ok... it's true and proved that I cannot hold my stand still, my maths teacher, mr. Hadi told me that when he saw my signiture. Now, why would I be a doctor? I think because everybody thinks being a doctor is cool... Every parents thinks furthering your studies in medical field is something to be proud of. So then, I furthered my higher secondary level in science stream. I studied the three friends, Biology, Chemistry and Physics. I wouldnt blame myself for getting a B for each and every subjects. -.-" why? haha~ secret...

Then when I finished secondary, there were so many forms to be filled so I had myself so encouraged doing dentistry. I want to be a dentist! ;) LOL. I totally didnt know my SPM result before filling the forms... -.-" But then, when I get my result, I totally changed my mind. I chose science field as my first choice and engineering as the second. I guess since I didnt do great in science, I was offered into engineering at UiTM. I was so happy I got it there. why? because I had my aunt there as a lecturer... -.-" Then, I switched my "what I want to be to an engineer"... wait up... what engineer? IDK. seriously I had no idea what engineer specifically would I be.  I thought something related to biochem. LOL. I was really suiciding.

Once I completed engineering, I thought doing mathematics is super cool~ still, IDK why.. Some pple asks me what would u be if you proceed with maths? a teacher? At first I went.. what?? a teacher?? Until I had some really major thing happened which is appropriate to be fit in my history book, to rethink and to reconsider,, YES... being teacher is the best... for me and my family =) a big smile for yea~ Hope I will not change my "what I want to be" anymore~ Im tired of changing them~ n they're sick of being changed.. LOL 

Relating the pict to the topic, I would like to make this pair of open toe heels my bridal heels... =) yeppue, aren't they~ ;) 

So lucky to be you~

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم..

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته ..

If we notice, we just like it to compliment pple about something they have which we do not have =) Indeed yes =) Dialogues like "You are so lucky you can..." is a common one. In my case, I take all the chance I have to make myself home every week so that I will not be alone since my roommate is not with me, and too to help my parents n sisters out, regarding their needs for the whole next week. =) pple just say "It's so lucky to be you to be home every week" and what I usually reply is just a smile... On the other hand, I have my self so stuck with my studies. -.-" screwed -.-" lol and everytime I think about it, I can preferably laugh at myself which I suppose to cry n be sorry for myself... -.-" miskiin~

Some pple, they say the "You are so lucky you can..." thing when they are jealous abt some matters. =) Yesterday I had like among the best days ever. My sisters and I enjoyed our lunch-dinner together with our best friends, my kak nani, and the twins idzlyn and idzryn... since one of the twin is furthering her studies pretty far away, so we decided to enjoy ourselves together in the valid short period... =) So we bought some food, n decided to eat beside the Kedah Perak Penang border river *y does that sounds weird??*, but since the food was pretty late served, we then decided to fold the car's sofa n just eat in the SUV. =) haha.. pretty crazy but fun. 6 girls squeezing in the SUV was awesome... haha... I wrote this so far... tersasar ald. =) Well I was trying to talk abt how the twins which are baby sisters of mine dress. Allahuakbar. Yesterday, I said to myself "It's so lucky to be like them, to dress like them". =) what I mean is, I do have my goal which I do not have enough strength to do it-to become a really lovely 'gadis pingitan'... =) which mom-in-laws to be queues up for a daughter in law.. =) ok that is hyperbolic... o.O Well, I'd really love to lower my gaze by dressing really polite Islamically. =) sure is something very hard to do. =) We sisters went to the mosque and we prayed fardhu Maghrib when I saw them praying wo their telekungs. =/ It's actually very simple n looks meaningless but very sensitive to me. I burst into tears when I look at myself. Oh, not so bad but y cannot I be like them.. Alhamdulillah they're blessed w His Hidayah at their age.

Again, some pple repeat the dialogue to pple with better job specs. =/ Last Thursday  I went to the library with a friend to discuss an assignment. I usually go to the library at nights, last semester. This semester, I become a bit lazy, even to the mosque. -.-" Ouh dear, I'm gathering my strength to make efforts to go study, n to pray at the mosque... Luckily I've got myself place at the same hostel for the next year so I can easily go there.... or not go... Pray i'll go... Aamiin~ Ok, again, the library. What I noticed was the staffs had to work over time to 'guard' the library till 10 at night. Miskiin. Seriously. Some pple just have to work hard to get  some money, but some just work very little but earns a lot. That is y education is something very important. Money never counts. Yeah, money counts but only if you want to live comfortable... It never guarantees happiness. =) Some pple just says "It's lucky you live in lux" but if the rich has got no education, the poor can just cheat the rich off and the poor will become the rich and the rich can become poor. Ouh god, Na'uthubillah...

=) Well =) The lucky feeling is actually jealousy... Wa na'uthubillah. I would rather be emotionless and  heartless than to be jealous. Complimenting will just make pple proud. They'll slowly kill the pple complimented. For instance complimenting somebody looking pretty, makes her feel so pretty wearing something n will eventually make her feel proud n try out something much prettier, n for muslims, if the much prettier dress attracts men, they're actually doing something less to Sirat almustaqim~ thats y, na'uthubillah. =) the same applies to criticizing =/ what is important is for us to be always careful with each and every word we say... so not a coherent n united explaination... -.-" sorry for that... 

beautiful inspiring red platform ;)

from : Facebook

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LOVE

Assalamualaikum... It happens that today is the 46th birthday for my mom.. =) Omma, she has gone through a lot in raising us up, taking care of us and be as patient as possible. Mamaku xmudah melatah, my mom is my role model. She's my all. =) Moga Allah memberkati segala usaha2 murni yg mama lakukan,, ILY mom! Ape ye birthday present buat mama?? I gave her the sincerest kiss ever for her last night.. =) N that is y cash means nothing. Mom gave me love instead of cash. =) That made us so close together.. love you mom.. =)

عيد ميلاد سعيد يا ماما .. كل عم وأنت بخير !

When he is mad and she is mad

.. السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته ..اليوم اتكلم عن المشاعر مع الرجال والنساء  

       What a good start,, half an hour to check whether the sentence is right. I hope so. =) It just meant, Im talking about the feelings of men and women. Ok. I was just trying that out. Well. My topic is pretty general. Yeah, since i'm having myself adapting to teens life, looking for the right guy, so I guess I shall write about the emotions. It has been a while since I wrote seriously, I just hope I'm not gonna write craps. =) 

      When a woman gets angry and when a man gets angry, the situation is very different. Well, emotion is something we relate with our temper, mood and personality and not to mention hormones. So, due to some hormonal changes, woman just gets mood swings easily rather than guys- just acting cool.  This is what makes women and men so complement to each other. =) You know somehow, Allah has written everything by sequence for us, so that we can live smoothly. Yes, musibahs are things we really can't avoid from. So, when some random man and woman are having this fight, one has to be the 'water' to cool down the 'fire' which really isn't something easy to do but needs a lot of patience, tolerance, put the ego aside,  and to be considerate. To fight over small things are just not worth it. I realized (I just realized but I'm sure everybody have realized this since then) that fight gives you nothing in benefit. Zero. What you get is depressed. Also, we don't have all the time. We do never know our رزق . What if, na'uthubillah one of us are chosen to return to him. Will we not be regretting the time we should have spent together? Na'uthubillah.

       So speaking of that, all we need is a little optimistic attitude in ourselves, lower your ego level, or maybe recall how hard it took to get together with the friend. The most important thing is, when we are grateful and thankful to Allah, we have the inferiority in the eyes of Allah, insyaaAllah, things will just go smooth. Some people, they are given generosity, lovely heart, lovely lips so they persuade the other friend and such. But some are given mouth full of stone, stone hearted, not generous at all and just never persuades. o.O that is the problem na'uthubillah. So sometimes it is best to just practice istighfar - أستغفر الله العظيم - say it repeatedly, infinite loop yea...  =) I mean until u feel the calmness, until you have the gut to say sorry when u misunderstood ur friend. ;) InsyaaAllah that would be better.

       Or it should be the best to explain each other, to be honest and to be straight forward. =) and another thing is sabo je la~ ;) None of the friend should be specialized like "I'm the girl y must I apologize" or "I'm the guy so y must I apologize"..... In fact both should apologize even if the fault is only from one side. One whose fault is to make the mistake and another whose fault is to get sulky. o.O ouh dear. Throughout what I wrote, friend means the spouse. =D It's just spoiling my mood to write it because it's too mature thing to say. or even write. Geli . sorry, can't help it~

LOL. dah2. go persuade ur loved ones. 

I took this from facebook. love the gold lace. It'll sure look gorgeous and elegent. =)

Mom and Dad and Dongsaengs

It was mother's day last Sunday . Some says it is not appropriate to celebrate mother's day for SOME special day which is actually celebrated by non muslims, i'm not sure what it is. =) but well, everyday is mother's day, right. Moms are just the best one understanding us- she carries the heavy us in her womb for 9 months, she feeds the hungry us, cares about the misbehaving us, be patient with the naughty us, she just does everything for us. =) Mom just thinks about our wellness each and every breath she breathes. Ok. melalut. I was talking about mom's day just now... So yeah, be got mom an Galaxy Note II in Ruby Wine which was pretty big and which she bragged about. =) But still, she took it n uses it happily... She calls abah first.. I created her Whatsapp, and for me as well, so that we can contact more. o.O I guess... =) But well, mom did great handling her new phone.. Hope she loves it. Ouh, and dad is the main sponsor of the phone btw... =) so I had a long night helping mom out with her phone, n since my other dongsaeng bought one too, so I helped her out too... help what? IDK... It's as if im so good in it... as if.

Mom and Dad are recently having not really good health condition so I have to make my self available on weekends, insyaaAllah. =) For having them having these great tests, thanks O Allah. =) insyaaAllah they can bare everything well. But please Allah, make them super strong to face them. And to me and to my sisters as well. People can just see the happy, well being them, the staff can just see the strong and just-okay Daddy and the school can just see the talkative, advising Mom. but they can never understand how much pain they are baring... Allahuakbar.

Deah Dongsaeng has just started her pre-U in form 6 and Myah Dongsaeng is sitting for her mid-term exam. They are living it well with Allah's will. =) Eunni is praying for the best for u two. =) and Eunni is sitting for final in a month time so all the best Eunni! ;) I'm pretty much adapting to my surrounding, my studies, my friends, my friend, my timetable, my assessments, my exams, my all. =)

I dont really have ideas to talk about, later Ill write when I'm having myself on holiday. =) perhaps I can write abt my semester break activities. to work? to become the housewife again? to have myself busy with business? to bake? well... I'll write later then. What's sure is i'm gonna write during the exam week. Time tu la procrastination level tinggi kn

.. =)

and this is a sweet pinkish heel,, and is from a FB page.. =) It's not pretty but I love the colour. and I dont plan to have one... ;)