Shoes craze

I noticed something about this blog. Couple months ago, I decided a share of a pair of heels on each post. It shows how passionate I am, how in love I am with those silly things. They were like crowns which I have to appreciate and be careful with my steps, worrying it might fall to the earth. Something like that.

I noticed now, that the passion has diminished. I can say extincted, died in exact. :'( I remembered it started when I started to write in an anger. Then, when it is something upsetting, I disregard that the fact that those pairs helps me calm down because I love them. -_- So I think those craze has slowly diminished.

Even to look for one on Facebook is really boring. They're just not right somewhere somehow. I remembered when my younger brother cousin told me that I'm helping those women spreading their beautiful leg pictures when I like and share those beautiful heels around. So I guess, retirement to that is necessary unless necessary and appropriate. =)

But still, I'm not tired buying any. Aiming for one. ^_^" Wait till I 'breath again' after my exam ^_^ hehe... but I have no picture of them =)

It's okay to be addicted to shoes <3

Children

Bismillahi awalu wa akhir,,

Assalamu'alaikum...

I attended a talk which was basically a session which allows a  pair of parents to describe their as-shahid son, Ahmad Ammar. Basically, they do not understand why Ahmad Ammar became a discussion after his shahid. The Turkish claimed he is a shahid because he was on the way to teach the An-Nur Risala (Risalah an-Nur) and it was his first day. Before that, the lecturers approved him, that he passed the written test (perhaps together with the oral test) about the Risala with excel, so they said that he can start his teaching to the others about it. That was when he was on his way to the madrasa and involved with an accident. And the mom said, surprisingly she didn't burst into tears, in fact she was the one who calmed the people around down. Until she got into the plain to pay their last visit to Ahmad Ammar, she cried. 

Why the parents did no understand he became a phenomena in the country? Because their son was a very modest person. Keeps silence where ever, when ever, what ever he does. What I noticed is that the parents encourages their children with humanity activities. That is why Ahmad Ammar, behind the scene, is a very helpful person. Sincere with all the helps he did and MashaaAllah, I cannot explain more. You can tell only if you listen to his parents description about him yourself. Ahmad Ammar has became a phenomena. Their parents has became a phenomena. Why would Allah arrange this to happen? I am grateful his parents became his parents and Ammar became who he was, because, due to Ammar's sincerity and passion, they helped the ummah to rise and realize that Islam is an ummah that should grow in an each-other-supporting group.  May Allah bless them. May Jannah awaits. 

And the attitude of his parents, Subhanallah, they are very kind and delightful. They say everything very softly, low and pleasing tone. Allahu. The way they compliment their son. I understand. They are not the kind who compliment. But the mother said, "I have to compliment him this time, he had never said no to me." The father said "let the mother do the describing. I don't want to embarrass myself again by bursting into tears in front of the crowd .". My point is, how gentle they manage their manners. Well, I am not saying that my parents aren't like them. I love my parents like how they are and how they control their manners for me, it is a blast already. In these parents I am talking about, we should make them a role model. 

The level of confidence towards Ahmad Ammar was incredible. Ammar is as old as I am, he went to school like other children, and had himself offered to the RMC school, a military school, but then furthered his studies in islamic-history-related course, which i'm not sure what it was, completely unrelated courses in human sense, but that is the course in which he studies the Risala and stuff. But Ammar himself was into history and sirah. He finish a series of 33 books of  But then the mother gave him support and had faith in him no matter what he did. Maybe because he is a man, not much problems to worry about. I don't know. 

All in all, I see the parents as a role model. Like how my parents are too, I see them as my role model. To moms, children are pleasures. Children are those whom cure depression. Those who relieves the tiredness. This not only teaches about how do we have obedient children but also how do we become the obedient children. To my mom and dad, thank you for raising me into who I am today. Even though I'm not a so-good-girl. ^_^" Love you guys. =)

A brief explaination by a friend about the whole thing in Malay.

Allah ma'akum. 

I Guess I Have Forgotten

بسم الله أول وأخير..
السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته..

In many cases, people tend to forget the pains they went through as when the joy comes along. By that moment, everything seems okay, nothing is wrong and the mistakes are no longer the 'moral of the story'.

Like in my case, being happy is a must. I enjoy every single thing on earth and there comes the problem, when I seem to enjoy the excitement more than everything. So eventually, when grieves and sorrows take place, life becomes the darkest and blackest creepy-thunderstormy-single and abandoned house-day. Well, that is to show the worst. And worst means worst. Nothing can happen but to grieve on the stupid mistake (to enjoy the whole life but to not be careful).

Allahu ma'ana. He is with us. So at the end of the day, the last option we have is to put our head and kneel down to earth. To pray for the best. Na'uthubillah. Hopefully everything goes istiqamah. The prayers, the joys and sorrows. And mistakes shouldn't be forgotten. Because tears bring joys and joys bring tears. It cycles. =)

Allah ma'akum.

Ideas Flying Away

Bismillahi awalu wa akhir...
Assalamu'alaikum..

I'm out of ideas lately and that is why I seldom write anymore. It's not like I had no idea what to write about. I have plenty of them. But when it came to writing, I normally go halfway and that's it. Off to the draft and eventually I'll just delete them.. And now I'm tired of deleting what I write because it seems like a waste of energy and time. Writing should be my hobby.

Maybe because the depression I've been facing. It's a massive load of burden. So now I keep on thinking even ridiculous things. Not in a disturbable state. I'll roar. =( Not because of the final. It is the assessments which I can't bare with. To think of them is a nightmare. Well to think again, I have three weeks of study and 6 assessments to be submitted. EC, Matlab and Statistics. and I have to finish 2 each week. which shouldn't be a problem but to be starred at maximumm! Abah and mama said don't curse! I know. I nearly did. They said it when I was about to do that. "See her often"... IDK,, i just don't know...

Alhamdulillah EC is not much burden. Dr Lutfi is doing well in his first years of teaching. He pretty much gave some ideas on approaching students. Maybe because he has just graduated from his phD studies and he was a student just like us, and the memories are still, fresh in mind so he understands it when we become sleepy, tired, not focused in class. Even his slang makes me feel like watching movies. ^_^ Yeah. Now this becomes a complimenting session for Dr Lutfi. -_- that's enough about him.

I'll just make it short up to this point. Allah ma'akum.

Beauty?

Bismillahirrahmaanirrahiim and assalamualaikum,,

I like it what kareem thinks,, because I think the same... =) We don't really have to pressure ourselves to be pretty in people's eyes. We have the beauty in ourselves which we may think is not, but the fact is, it totally is~ 

How beautiful are you and how do you measure that? By how many people liked you? probably because of some advantage you have compared to what they have. probably because you are smarter. probably because you are the head student and you get all the attention. probably because of insane ideas you can ever think of. Not because you are pretty, or handsome. 

So be confident and stand for yourself. Inspire people like how you like it to be inspired. 

Allah ma'akum~ 

Easy Dakwah

Bismillahirrahmaanirrahiim~ 

Assalamualaikum,,

I have never came a cross of anything we call dakwah.. =) because I myself is new to learning Islam in a narrower aspect. So, to watch some educated friends doing so (my definition of educated is in terms of their religious knowledge) is really an honor. I understand why when an entertainer, when Allah bless them with Hidayah, they tend to run dakwah  even though they too are new to the jihad. Simply due to the halaawah of the imaan~! subhanallah~ 

Some people they are better in talking and some write better and some show better, every single human being has advantages on top of each other which I agree and I believe everybody would.  So, as a Muslim, to see people doing mistakes as we did back then is really a pain and ache in the eyes and of course my heart. That is also why people tend to dakwah. 

But as to myself, dakwah-ing is a very risky job. Not that I do not consider doing dakwah, but it really is hard. Some experience of mine, of which a really close friend that I notice hardly kneel the knees and forhead down to the earth, first, I got surprised because I never really met anybody of such act and second I dont know what to do and third, I'm afraid if that person might be close to Hidayah but if interfere that person would turn her head around. It's complicated. So, how do I dakwah if that close person to me is not rightly fixed? So what I do so far is show off. not to show off in that bad way, but to show off what my our religion should perform. Hopefully it works in the end. See? not easy right? =)

Like how a friend of my friend, she courageously wakes her friend up in the morning for Tahajud prayer, never lets that friend sleep after Subuh prayer and recites Quran every day. Interesting right? Lovely and healthy. Imagine the reward she deserves in Jannah. MashaaAllah~ =) 

A friend of mind, he is a directly-spoken type of person. He just says what he wants to to anyone, but of course in private. =) Maybe that is a good thing to do but only meant for those who are close to us. I think so.

A lot of my friends, they do their dakwah jobs by post sharing. I like to do that also. but the disadvantage of this way is we have to make sure the post is true and if it is not, we might have shared the wrong message.  It is okay of what people think of us. and it is okay of the mistakes we did if it is related. =) Sometimes, if an issue is already being considered for a long time, and a friend sees the sharing, and he or she suddenly considers to completely go for the thing they have been pondering, imagine the reward you deserve. Also, we should remember, some are just sharing opinions and not fact, so if it is a fact, we should spread, but we should be careful if it is an opinion. we might have diverge somebody's opinion or point of view, like how I am doing... I write, these are just what I think.. =) some might think differently as I do. 

And to dakwah, we simply have to learn more no matter who we are, a student, a staff, a scholar, anybody we are. learning is crucial. 

Allah ma'akum.

Awesome days with great du'as

Bismillahirrahmaanirrahiim~ 

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi abarakatuh~

People often get themselves very lazy to start a day. Well me too.. ^^  Recently, my father did a drastic change in the family... actually, it was done before when my dad makes us pray jama'ah for Magrib prayers but this time, he trains us to pray jama'ah on each and every prayer time. To me, idk about my mom and sisters, it is new... So, since I was shocked, I create thousands or maybe millions of reasons to not join the prayer... Everything u can put in list..  sleep, headache, stomach ache those are the frequently used excuses... -_- 

But then, when it comes to a week of force and sweat and tears and offense and u name it, insyaaAllah I can pretty much accept and adapt with what my father asks us to do. And consequently, what my soul fells, the calmness, it is different and amazing. =) It makes my day really great and awesome, in a good way of course. =) 

On top of that, try make a prayer or wish the best for somebody. Say something to make his or her day up. Notice, how she or he reacts. Subhanallah. When people makes wonderful, unexpected du'as for me, all I wanna do is cry. Seriously. Like how the little sisters and brothers from a school I performed motivation programs, their teacher himself made us wonderful du'a. Then I can see the sun shines brighter all day ^^ But to earn those things, we need good deeds, greater heart and pleasure...

Allah ma'akum

Slowly is okay as long as we istiqomah ;)

Bismillah and A very pleasant evening all.

Not to brag about how I became myself. Just a humble sharing. I myself am not at the best appearance in the eye of Allah and men. Some women they hesitate to change their looks, like how they cover themselves as oredered in the Quran. Some muslimaat are aware that what they wear do not fullfill the syari'aat but still, they continue doing what they do. I did those things too. Even now, I still do what I shouldn't do (eg. wearing bright attractive colors pieces of cloths). Sometimes what we intend in choosing attires confuses us by how we cover. Explain? Erm. For example, I wear things according to syari'aat, long sleeves, scarf covering the chest, skirt as to the ankles level and hand and feet socks. However I wear them in bright orang and dark red. I might have the thought that it might be okay because I am covering the whole body already so i won't mind wearing the bright colors already. Also, some muslimaat like to dress intentionally to dress or cover up and satisfy themselves with beautiful cloth pieces and not to attract men without realizing the fact that those satisfactory they felt, have actually attracted people's attention in silence. So beware. Lengthy introductory huhh. 

Well. Let's start with 2009. 

2009.

I wore jeans and bright colored blouses, mostly pink ones or thigh-short muslimaat tees. 2-3 inches heels. Bawal scarves (a square, single thread thick hijab, normally folded into a triangle. Even the double layered single thread thick hijab can show my earings). I liked ear rings which hangs on my ears so they move around (not okay!). Eye liners. Mascara. Eye shadows. Glossy handbag. Dressy right? -_-

2010.

Pretty tight jeans and bright colored proper muslimaat tees.Still, 2-3 inches heels. Bawal and awned scarves but a little bigger.  Eye liners. Mascara. Until one day my house burnt down and I had all the cosmetic things burnt down together so I was not in my mood to buy any anymore. I shall say alhamdulillah for that. =) and whatever handbag suits. 

2011.

This is the year I entered foundation. Still those jeans but not so tight anymore, also slacks. Proper muslimaat tees or Baju Kurung since it was compulsory to wear them on Mondays and Fridays. Awned scarves. All unless for functions, I prefer Bawals, worn with inner scarves or shawls. Heels were still my choice but started wearing flats due to the geographic condition of the campus. Eye liners and mascara but not compulsory. whatever handbag suits but variety. Arms and feet socks. Thanks to my best friend for the advise. 

2012. 

Less jeans.Slacks untill I fell couple times and tore my knees and of course the slack. Skirts. Muslimaat tees and blouses and Baju Kurung since I started office job. Shawls of various colors or the Syrian scarves or IDK the lycra ones, but in larger sizes . Flats. No eyeliners nor mascara.  Arms and feet socks. Variety handbags. 

2013.

Less jeans.Slacks. Skirts of variety colors.  Muslimaat tees, blouses and Baju Kurung to lectures on Mondays and Fridays at particular sizes according to the outfit cut itself. Shawls or Syrians or Lycra scarves at size at least XL, no bawals.  Flats and heels again. Mascara but not compulsory. Arms and feet socks. Variety handbags. ^^. 

2014 ahead. 

Hopefully istiqomah and much better, especially about color choosing. =)

but Muslimaat knows best how difficult it is to maintain with what we wear and how we behave. Some men they think being particular about outfits are insignificant. If they ready themselves slowly, they consider it something very petty. Not important. Whilst those insignificant things, if they are not properly done, where would our Jannah go? Jannah won't wait. Na'uthubillah. So it is okay to change slowly. It is okay to get ready slowly. As long as we cover ourselves. and as long as we are not attracting the non-mahrams. as long as we do not dress too much, put on make ups too thick and accordingly t the syari'aat. ;)

Also, if you are thinking of buying something new and better, never deny the fact that you can always give away ur clothes, whatever it is to the need ones. ^^. And give also something you like and love to wear which is new and good and comfy. They deserve to wear what you have and we deserve something better insyaaAllah. We call it sadaqah. =D Allah will double tripple your kindness insyaaAllah. ;)

Allah ma'akum.

Google's app

Assalamualaikum and hi...

So I accidentally bumped into this app while helping my sister out installing apps on her phone. She has got it back since she finally ended her examination last week so she was excited. I was excited. Deah was also excited. Now we can gossip more. ^_^" alhamdulillah it's a blast. We're blessed ;)

Well the apps I found wasn't really a recent update.. It's just me who just got.updated ^_^" I really had myself thinking just inside a box and unfortunately a small one =( okay now I'm crapping already -_-

The aps I found was the Google Blogger, so I just got to know a real easy way to blog so I wanna blog more (as if)... Secondly, I found Google Play Book.. Amazingly the books are so my type so hopefully I'll read more when I have leisure. ^_^". Okay. Third. Google Keep. I like the fact that I can write notes, reminders and checklists in the same place at my standard of laziness... Forth. Google drive. I haven't figured out what that thing does but I think it's some kind of medium to share files, medias. Audios. Videos. Documents. All those stuff. Last. Google Finance and Google Calendar. Haven't explored those apps.

Well, since I'm trying out all those apps and wasting my time, I'll have to 'time for tele-bye2'... ^_^" hopefully benefits us. Myself especially. Haha. Super excited on such things. I feel bad for myself but worth a lot ;)

Allah ma'a kum ;)

~Greed ones~

Google Keep

IDK what Google Finance does. Maybe the updates about finance are displayed here. I guess.

Google Play Read. Read till you puke yeah. 

Google Current. I think it's the updates to the Google news. I wonder if Google News really does exist. LOL/

My Favorite! Google Blogger. 

Google Calendar. =( 

Google Drive. Upload more yeah. 

No Title =P

بسم الله الرحن الرحيم... 

السلام عليكم...

10 days without writing is like waiting for prince charming to wake you up from your forever sleep. =D" I mean it's like forever. =( Some  Muslims had their selves fast for the Arafah day on the Thulhijjah 9th.. =) while some don't for reasons i'm sure. =) I remember during the last acedemic session, a lecture Prof Rahni reminded the whole lecture to fast and I can't imagine how much reward he would have if even the half of the lecture did what he reminded us to do. InsyaaAllah may Allah bless him.Also, Raya Qurban just passed and everybody was thrilled by how much cholestrol have they been putting on. ^_^" and weight. 

I was thinking about some things to write about but then I forget everything I had on mind so I'll just turn this one into my recent update and some stories at kampung . =) Well, i've been doing very well, just some issues I can't back myself off it ^_^" 

Abah has been taking a lot of pain killers, gradually I mean, not in a sum, to drive home to our kampung and to eat whatever he likes. He said it is a pleasure to be home so why not he just do whatever he wants and eat whatever he wants while he can since I;ve been telling him not to eat so much of meat and the lemang and pulut, peanuts, things he shouldn't be eating -_- Ouh dear my father.. Pity him.. and now he is back to work =) 

Mama is being just okayexcept for the day she arrived to kampung, she complained that she had her chest in pain and suffocated so abah brought mama to the clinic. The sick abah. and  the dr. said it was just gastric. IDK mama has never suffered from gastritis. But she was fasting the whole day so maybe that is the reason. 

Deah is sitting for exam so she studies really hard. Never seen her so keen and hard working. =) Love her inspiring attitude because I hate to see her study but hate her 'inspiring' attitude because I became sleepy when I read. I'm allergic to books. =P She's doing good, insyaaAllah.

Whereas Myah is enjoying her post exam freedom. How sweet. She bakes, she reads, she plays, eveything she could do as long as she can spend her time and do whatever she can do back then before the exam. Unfortunately, abah is not subscribing to my cartoon channel anymore =( that annoys me cinca because Myah actually isn't affected about it )=  

Ermmm.. Now the biggest part of the story. My worms. =) No2. let's tell about nenek first. Nenek is doing fine except for her back pain but she copes really well about it. She actually rarely complains when it hurts and only seek for help when she really2 needs one. She is extremely independent. =) Maklong and paklong is getting busy, but relieved since abang ayie is graduating. Yay!. Alhamdulillah and he is going to rock art industry insyaaAllah! ;) Faizal is still doing his practicals and is finishing in some months ahead. =) Whereas my little worm Amir, I have to cover my aurah already to stay with him, I did not at first but everyone was saying, aen u have to cover already... He's a big boy bla7... But he's only 13??! =/ So,, with a very heavy heart (LOL), I had to do what my deen asks so there you go. Makdik just undergo surgery for the fibroid thing so she said she had 4-5 holes in her stomach so I was shocked. what??! haiyo. Uncle Jan is always busy with his work but amazingly he took care of makdik very well. Arif, a little bigger worm, ahmad, azri and aiman are growing worms also and they are incredibly awesome brothers. =) Like how? just like them =) makyan didnt come home. Makteh, she and her husband are both happy to have new cars. I drove both ald. ^^ always a bonus for me since I stayed with them during in Palam so, I was a little bit pampered much than the others... ^_^ Makuda is getting busy with her work and paksu and maksu are doing great with their bussiness... last but no least Qaseh n Ilham the smallest worms and are growing well, eating leaves and fruits... I shall say caterpillars  onwards, so soon to be beautiful and stunning butterflies insyaaAllah ;) 

and, IDK what to write anymore ^^. Allah ma'akum. ;) 

Please Your Parents

Bismillahirrahmaanirrahiim and Assalamualaikum~

It is a great pleasure to share what I learnt together with the siswi in a program held by the Helwi. The in charged officer to 'share' pleasant stories with us was Madam Rohayati... She is a very nice woman and I admire on how softly yet harsh the details were spoken. I purposely attach my note so I don't miss out what to share and my apology if I do.. ^_^ Also, My apology because I sketch and draft from the bottom part of the paper and from the right hand side. So I left a pretty big space in the middle. It becomes a habit I don't realize I'm doing. -_-

The main idea of the discussion was about how special women are. So she tells us about how we can be those beautiful ones to beautify Islam. =) Solah is always the key. We know ourselves it is not easy to keep ourselves kusyu' in our solah. So it is best to start very slowly but in moderate and istiqamah way ^^ And according to the phrase bellow, I'm pretty sure we can many of us can stand up to anything. Because we pray. 

Second is to be grateful of what we have and that is by appreciating the 99 asma al-husna... She recomended a 1000 times of repetition of one name per day... It's like zikir. So you will say all 99 names in approx. 3 months. Well, have I done it? hehe... Sometimes I get greed. Saying several names of His per day ^_^ Haiya.. -_-

Something very important she shared and was my concern is to pleasure our parents. Those words and advises had me burst into tears for reminding how 'bad' I am to mine. She said to Redha each and everything our parents do to ensure them the Paradise. It reminds me of my father when she said...

"Redha your parents even if they get angry to you. If they do, be pleased, keep smiling and head up because we want the Paradise for them. Be patient. Else if they are not happy with us, the Paradise are not theirs.So please our parents. " 

Like how I do, I simply get angry and keep the anger to myself and never would want to apologize even though I was the one wrong. Bad girl. So I headed home doing what she recommended. But not in tears la. I'm pretty stubborn. Something she shared with the siswi "A Solehah is better than 70 Soleh". That is something really pleasuring to hear right. But "A bad woman is worse than 1000 bad men" which is very irritating to hear and we want to avoid doing, right? Allahu akbar. May He ease our way to the Siraat Mustaqiim~

To conclude:

We should do our solah on time. Be grateful. Notice and appreciate all asma ul-husna, the beautiful Names of the Almighty God. BE NICE TO OUR PARENTS.

Allah ma'akum...

Amazingly Special 20th Birthday ii

Bismillahirrahmaanirrahiim~
Assalamualaikum...

IDK why should I write about this again.It's like telling the world yesterday was my birthday and I was happy on my birthday. Ouh. I know. I want to cherish what happened yesterday on my blog. later when I'm much older I can laugh at myself for how foolish I sound and look, celebrating the 20th birthday... Of course, it has been two decades since I first knew the world, my mom, my dad and Penang. ^_^

Apparently, I went to class like it is a normal day. being scolded by Miss Oon, because nobody volunteered for the IOP which should actually be done by next week but since it is Raya and we are having holidays, she wanted it done by this week. So, nobody prepared but a chinese girl. =) Okay,then after class I had to video myself and my friend, Zauna who happens to be my groupmate for our assignment. So we did.After sending my friends to the school, Dayah and I went to Bayan Lepas to get my half-year-debted dress from Tabung Haji. But it happened that the jubah didn't arrive so I had myself some refund. ^_^ yay! Malas nak marah abang tu, lagipun the mom was there. And luckily he said sorry.

Whatever. That night Eika invited me to her room so I agreed but I said I must rush since I am having a test the next day which is today, so we agreed. Se bought me a cahe with castle and a princess, baloons, those exploding things IDK what pple call them and roasted chicken... ^_^" So we ate and they started playing the cake icings which was something I used to like to play but not that night. -_- I got a bit angry but I hope she won't get offended. Hopefully. The best part is I get to know her better which happens to be some week point of her. best? merapu gelak kat org. No la not best. Erm, IDK la.. Ayu gave me an Apolo cake. So sweet of her. She was in rush but grabbed whatever it is on the table for a gift. ^_^

So I came home putting my retinas onto the screen reeding the lecture notes but I got dizzy so I slept and there you go Rara my roommate crying in the middle of the night. -_- Haiyo... I wanted to persuade her but I can't help myself, my body wont move. I had to rest. It was a long day. Haha. As if. It was.

So what I think is special for my birthday is for sure the remebrance and the du'as. I really get emotional when pple make du'as for me. I feel blessed. Like how the teacher of SMK BTJ made du'a for the facilitators who were having tests but had themselves facilitating the students there. Yeah whatever i know the sentence is upside down. Pening kepala meh. o.O So the du'as meant a lot. Also when my baby worms, my rainbows my sunshines sang for me, and wished and made du'a, those are the moments I woud like to keep deep down in my heart and not forget. ^_^" So enough about birthdays. Lets grow up and write like a lady. Haha. Sounds creepy. and weird. -_-

Allah ma'akum.

Wake Me Up

A lovely song I like ^_^" A lovely lady I like ^_^" A lovely listener,, that's me ^_^" 

Cover By Madilyn Bailey

Amazingly Special 20th Birthday

Bismillahirrahmaanirrahiim~ 

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakaatuh~

Kullu 'am wa ana bi khair. LOL. a wish to myself ^_^

Well. It is a very emotional day for me because I'm not having myself in a healthy condition on the last day of my teenage 'life'. =D So what I eat, what I do, where I go, whom I met are all the thoughts which cling around my mind. How can I say, I can't describe the feelings. It's indescribable. Shall I say happy birthday to myself... LOL all my life I have never wished myself my birthday. Because each and every year passed but I could never believed the age has increased a number. What a weird attitude. I should be grateful instead i know. 

To receive gifts or wishes, I just don't really mind. Turning twenty of course is a bless but unfortunately I cant face reality that I have to grow maturer than always which hardly will happen. and now omma has already been talking about my 21st birthday =( heart aching, seriously. haha. To imagine myself being serious and managing adult matters, ouh God. It is so not going to happen in the time being. So time, please be good. 

I feel odd myself. How can I say myself enjoying my "Amazingly Special 20th Birthday"... LOL.. IDK maybe I was just excited to write but then when it come's to the contents, I became unmotivated despite of how old I am now. If I was a watch, I may have rusted(unless if I'm a stainless steel... or will it just rust?? IDK whatever) If I was a book, I may appear lame and dull. If I was read thousands of times, I may torn up a little by the side. Okay. Crap. 

Also Eika suggested a prank party which I disagree totally. Huhu. Kesian Eika. Not my style of celebrating. Plus, it's a waste of time and energy and money. Well I sulked when she insisted to but sometimes I have to. Sorry dear friend. =) I dont really like harsh surprises. Later I'll catch you upp okay ^_^ And a watch and a jubah I had, I appreciate them much as much as more than my fingers. =P uncountable.

So hopefully I will become a better muslimah, with His wills, I would love to try out things I've been keeping myself to and Love more, hate less. There sure will be something else to update upon my birthday. Ouh yes Makteh has sent a cake all the way from SA to Penang. How tear bursting. LOL hyperbolic. She sent me a cake too last year. ILY mom teh. So nice of you. Actually the remembrance meant the most InsyaaAllah.. 

Allah ma'akum...

Hari Interaksi??

Bismillahirrahmaanirrahiim~ and Assalmualaikum..

 Well. The Maths Interaction day for 2013/14 session was held couple days ago which I have never bothered to even join. Erm. I hate the fact that I have to force my muscles work over ther limits ^_^ LOL what a reason. Well.. I don't really like how the event has always has to go, where the seniors has to be very open minded and the juniors will have to do whatever the seniors asks them to. 

Actually, it is not that bad. It's just me who hates interacting with people I'm not comfortable with. That's it. Yes. even though it has been a year since I studied here and be friends with my coursemates. Women coursemates are ones I'm jus okay with, but not the men. Not comfy at all. And I'm a lazy bump so for sure I want to spend my time on my bed more than attending the interaction day =/ 

I have no regrets to not attend the event, but to not own the member shirt. ^_^" but who cares. Maybe I'll not be recognized in the school scrap book or whatever, I'm happy with what I did. And to conclude, I'm not considering at all to join the next session's event. Unless I have to. =/ Hopefully not. LOL. Allah ma'a na~

That Uncle

Bismillah...

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu~ 

I have been coming to this small restaurant, I don't know if it's a stall but I guess the stalls are all bunched in a very tiny place nearby the 'mighty' Kayu Nasi kandar Bukit Jambul. So the customers could find variety food in a small crowded place. I feel so blessed seeing this one uncle, he runs a 'stall' and sells Nasi Lemak, Nasik Lemuni and some coconut pancakes I think. 

Everytime I come to the place, I will see him very diligently run his bussiness. He uses a coned shape filter funnel to shape the Nasi Lemak or Nasik Lemuni up, and lets the customers choose whatever side dishes they prefer n MashaaAllah sells them with a very low price. I wonder how does he live here in Penang, the very costly city, selling such cheap food. I like whatever sambal he makes because they are sweet and not spicy at all. Everything is just delicious. And I don't mind if I have to drive a little bit to get to his 'stall'. And I should have took pictures of the Nasi Lemak 'presented'. Next time insyaaAllah. 

This uncle, his dilligence and quality of cooking would surely attract some people to his 'stall'. I solute him for being so passionate in his job. I think it's a career in fact. This uncle, despite of his diligence and passion, he actually faces some problem which I think it is some sort of short term memory. He stutters a little and always forgets whether or not people have paid or what did his customers order. It's very pitiful seeing him in such condition since it may pretty much affect his bussiness. Hopefully not. 

That uncle, I pray the best for him. Hopefully Allah wills him to recover and if not, hopefully people will not take advantage of his weakness. 

Feels so weird writing, knowing this one 'aabid of Allah reads everything in my blog. 

Sexual Desire

Assalamualaikum.. <<Sexual Desire>> , a short video by Nouman Ali Khan which explains about we, human beings as Muslims and our sexual desires. Also, he explain the ayat from the Quran in which Allah commands us to not go near to fornication. Allah ma'a kum.

Life is a dream? No I'm alive.

Bismillah. Assalamualaikum.

I love the lyrics. Well different ones has different opinions and interpretations. Mine is maybe different from others. Just the right song at the right time. Nice. I don't feel like writing so I just print the screen and share. #lazy bump

How Can I Write Anymore??

Bismillah. 

Assalaamu'alaikum wa rahmatullahi wabarakatuhu.. 

I'm happy I have the strength to write. Even writing isn't a routine, I have write to get my head straight. ^_^" #silly. It is hard when we get disappointed by people around us. Yes. We can smile when we meet our friends and family, but just then, when we are again alone, the smile just fades like how the shore washes away the sand. =) Okay what a terrible comparison. Well, yes. I had the thought to just stop writing. Keep myself still and do nothing. But to think again, no I shoudn't do so. 

When I really feel disappointed, I get very disappointed like the disappointment is my  world. My sleep. My book. My Love. My house. My prayers. My life. Astaghfirullah. So it is crucial that I Istighfar as much as I can, keep my head up and move on. Of course it is hard. But till when shall I mourn on something not worth right? To do a lot of prayers, I am trying hard to do that. And to keep smiling, insyaaAllah I can do that.Plus, I have a lot more friends which can shine my world up. =) 

Disappointment. Yes. I know. How could you. Some friends are just meant to be friends and that's it. When you move on, if they hurt you, leave them behind. If they want to, they can follow but not with the same trust my dear friend. You totally abandoned me, so if you can absolutely abandon me, I can abandon you too. I am very strong girl, I can live without you. A friend won't kill my soul. So, so long~ =/ What ever it is, I pray the best for you. 

Allah ma'akum.

Why do I blog?

Bismillahirrahmaanirrahiim~

       Each and every human beings has their own way of expressing how they feel. How do I express mine? I blog. But usually, I blog to share something with people. Before I start blogging, I wrote diaries. Which happens to make me laugh every time I read them again. I laugh for how immature I was back then. Til one day, I found it hard to keep my diary from being read by my parents. See? How immature. hey girl, everybody on earth can read your blog, so why blog? Well. I don't know either. I really think it's complicated. I blog whenever I feel like I want to share something and I don't when I don't. 

       Well, even though I know there are millions, billions, trillions, gegillions and infinitylion of people on earth, having some people reading the blog is a great pleasure since I like to create and write nonsense and crazy situations, so having crazy works being judged and penalized, it is unique. =) Also, I blog to just try out things. Everytime I go online, I will learn something new. Other than having dozens of social network accounts, I blog to just experience things out. Alhamdulillah. 

       Some of my sharing on the blog are parts of things I like very much and would like to cherish. So I note them down into this simply dimply blog so that one day I can reread what I did and laugh, cry, smile, whatever it is to remember the ups and down I went through. Having a facebook account sometimes excites people to share something. So do I. But I do not want everything shared on facebook to be seen by all my friends there. So what I do is go anonymous blogging, and write what I want, say what I want. Same goes for my Instagram, Twitter, Whatsapp, Wechat, those internet stuffs. I act differently to my friends and followers. I am myself, not being someone else. I just address different messages according to different audience. 

       On top of that, I can really color my blog regardless of how creative and artistic I am (haha!), just customize everything according to my interest. So, I don't find any reason I can't blog. Ouh, of course, some people thinks blogging is time wasting. As to me, it is. But I need mind creativity to color my world. Looking for coriang colors to do so. My color book of life is far too dull compared to other's and this is how I do it. MashaaAllah. 

       Hopefully, I won't hurt anybody's heart by not following or friending with these particular peoples. Because once a friend said to me. It is okay not being friends online. Because not being friends online doesn't mean we are not friends at all. So I believe in the saying. 

To Muslimaat. للمسلمات

Bismillahirrahmaanirrahim~ and Assalamualaikum.

I came across these touchy lines a few days ago and I think is appropriate said to Muslim women. It is a shared post from a Facebook profile by my friend which happened to seriously had me carried away by what it said. So, enjoy the reading.

“The WOMAN” - The woman of the world. The Woman I admire  wearing her attire  hiding her figure,  thus, curbing my desire..  The Woman I desire fearing the (hell) Fire  is diligent in her prayers  for the rewards of life hereafter... The Woman I encounter is beyond bother  with the keen race  to beautify the face!  The Woman I ask  from dawn to dusk  is busy with ALLAH  murmuring, subhan'allah, subhan'allah, subhana'allah  The Woman I observe certainly deserves  better respect  than what she expects The Woman I listen  is very, very stern  for her it is a must to control one's lust But the Women I see  sad to say, most wear "minis"  alone I lament...  though they are not made for this!  The Woman I met  boasting her beauty most probably by surgery?  but does she know it is all temporary?  Hence, the Woman I know is advised to follow the sunnah of our beloved Rasulullah from head to toe....  The Woman I judge  often bears a grudge EQUALITY, she requests (or rather protests)  but please bear in mind ALLAH'S inquest!  The Women I hurt (by this article) please do not curse or smut  for it is better I warned before all is gone....

Allah ma'a kum.

The World I Live in

Bismillah.. 

Assalamualaikum.. 

       The new semester has finally started. The first week will definitely not be as pack as the next weeks. Ouh my. Things are getting more difficult as the level gets higher. So far I have learn pretty much about Statistics and World Languages and Multilinguism. Alhamdulillah, having my lecturemates from foreign countries, and coincidently having the class as our minor courses and are from the same class from the previous minor course, I didn't expect to have accompanies at all. So, I'm not so bored sitting in the class listening to the lectures and all. Also, I found a friend from the same village of my mom's, so we communicate in our common language, that is Bahasa Melayu Sarawak. She said I sound cute speaking Sarawak Malay. I know, I don't really speak it out well, but then she said, "It's okay, now you have me to speak to!" ^_^" Alhamdulillah lucky me. 

       And of course, new year, new semester, new courses, new friends and new challenges. My first challenge of the semester has started. May Allah shows me and my other friends the right path and right thing to do to go through everything well and smooth, insyaAllah. 

       I believe this phrase is worth considered. Sometimes, we plan and tend to do something this way, but Allah has arranged everything to be that way. Eika advised me, whatever it is, Intan, don't we ever go against what our mom and dad says. And yes I have went against something my mom and dad said to me. Am I regretting?? Allahuakbar. He knows me the best. I think the phrase says all in my heart. Another challenge MashaaAllah. 

      Plus, experiencing an accident on the very first day of lecture is so inexpressible. How it feels like. Ouh dear. I thought I was dying. LOL. Nothing actually happened to me but the car. Injured pretty bad. To me it is bad. I shivered all along the way home. Felt like taking a break, wait until I can deal with myself, then only I continue my another 10 minutes journey to get home. As soon as I get home, I searched for an ice cream tab, and eat. And as soon as I had my Isya prayers performed, I slept very tight until morning. ^_^" 

      Last but not least, Eika my friend treated me twice. The first time, she brought me to Ivory, a place located just in front of my campus, but I actually never went to -_- pathetic. So she ordered 3 plates of rice, one each for her, me and Mai, steamed siakap, tomyam, kailan something, fried egg, chicken kerabu. I think even if my family and I, five of us ordered those dishes, we couldn't have finished them all. Yet that night, since Eika was treating, we must have them all finished. The second time, we had noodles prepared in claypots, at Tesco. Thank you Eika. May Allah bless you. And may your students pass in their SPM and STPM. (she is a tuition teacher and since she was paid for the teachings she has done, she considered to treat us). How nice. I like Eika's world. So independing. Allahuakbar. 

      She said she likes my world better and I said i liked her world better. That is the fitrah, human beings won't feel satisfied for ANYTHING they own. It has always been so. Oh Allah, help us chase away all the greediness in us. Make us grateful people. 

Allah ma'a kum. 

Siblings and love

Assalamualaikum..., Hi.. 

How people actually show their love between siblings, they differ based on how they are educated and taught since they were small. Some family, they are well educated yet the love between siblings just never works but some does in certain ways. The same thing goes to the less educated family but having such great  chemistry between the family members, but also, necer works in certain ways ^_^" 

Alhamdulillah I am born from a family which has equivalent love and attention. =) Being among the eldest in both mom's and dad's family, I feel pleasured to see my little brothers and sisters happy. What ever they want, I will give my all to just fullfill them, what ever they wish, I will do my best to have them done and what ever I own that they would love to use, tafaddhal little babies! Yes! They are all babies in my eyes. Even though those babies are as big and even bigger than I am. -.-" Abang Ayid, Abg Ayie, Kak Idah, Kak Inah.. Those are the only brothers and sisters I have. Seeing them happy with what they do, mashaa Allah, I will feel the same. In fact I feel like there are flowers and cartoons flying around me. (so very dramatic)

Also, Faizal, Deah, Eeda, Arif, Myah, Siti, Mardhiah, Ayoi, Meme,  Pikah, Along, Ahmad, Angah, Kakak, Acik, Aizat, Aiman, Adli, Haris, Amoi, Iqah, Kak anis, Qaseh, Hakim, Ajim, Naufal, Wafi, Ilham, Sofea, Rafiq and Nafis, these dozens of worms are my younger brothers and sisters. ^_^" I know I have so many little babies to attend. But hey, why not we play some role so that all of us siblings love for each other regardless of how we show our loves. As long as we do not put ourselves in trouble and fights and the negative auras, right? 

Soon I'll be having nieces and nephews. =) Abang Ayid is getting married so I'm looking forward to become an aunt ^_^" how awesome ! ;) 

And so, we can have a better love spreaded environment. Peace and harmony and unity. Those are all that we need. And of course to be obedient sons and daughters for our better aakhirah future. =) Also, I pray that my sisters and brothers in Egypt, or Suriah or Myanmar or wherever they are, as long as they are muslims, Allah has taught us a lot about peace and unity. Jealousy and tension will only create fight and double the tension. Like how it is today. As we can see, those black and closed and full of hatred and bad hearts, they are in small number compared to the good ones, but is enough to just create wars and damages and harms the whole country. Allahu akbar. He knows what are the best for us His worshipers. Praise be to Allah for the shahids. =) So where else can we start the love and peace environment to ensure peace and unity?? from our family of course. Spread the love. Spread the 'translucent, clean' heart.. <3 <3 <3 May Allah ease us muslims, and non muslims so that we love, believe and be pleasured for one another, insyaaAllah~ 

sisters and brothers! 

Modesty

Assalamualaikum wbt. Bismillah.. 

I've been thinking about what to write since I've been thinking about a lot of stuffs lately, and alhamdulillah today I wanna write about modesty. =) 

How Islam teaches us muslims about modesty? Well, there are so many deeds which shows how we can act moderate, one of them is by fasting in the month of Ramadhan. basically there are many reasons for muslims to fast in the month of Ramadhan , one of them is to experience how the unfortunate feels when they are insufficient of food and drinks while the other brothers and sisters enjoys luxury. So, indirectly, all muslims, young or old, rich or poor, as long as they are muslims, they all will be grateful for the earnings they obtain for the month or day, for sure there are several rules to be practiced during the fasting period =)

And to imply the gratefulness during Ramadhan into our daily life, we act, speak, eat and spend moderately to just have some consideration for how the unfortunate live their lives. So, when we own some luxury in life, surely we have to be more thankful to The Almighty God and we should practice amar makruf nahi mungkar better than before =) 

Spending is really an action most people cannot resist. =) Me myself too. When I see things that pleasure my eyes such as wedges, handbags and shawls, or if I get to treat my little babies, my mind won't think properly that sometimes, I can make myself eating at minimized quantity. -.-" nappeun yoja! haha... over... Astaghfirullah~ Somehow, my mom really has taught me how important it is to spend wise. So, wise spender I am... haha,, when it comes to serious matters la, but if it is about silly things, I just never think twice but just barge into them! LOL~ ish3, as what ppl say in malay language, "membazir amalan syaitan"="wasting is syaitans' deed".. =)

Therefore, that is how I shall live. Not too luxurious nor too bad. =) As for me, back up plans are very important. Also, sometimes the term "as long as you have one" is crucial... =) Like when you intend to own a car or a house, try not to choose based on it's brand or price. As long as you have one, be thankful praise be to Allah, that you have one. ^_^" Think of the long term effects too, such as what if u get bankrupt, how would you deal with the installments, or what if you die, how would ur family deal with the installments, or what if it gets stolen, how would you deal for the lost, etcetera2... =) 

All in all, try to be moderate, live like normal pple and not try to look special. Because specials are looked forward, but they are not necessarily liked. =)

He's not listening =(

Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wabarakaatuh,, and a very pleasant evening to my dear fans (haha..),, well,, i know I get a little crazy lately and idk why am i acting so.. ^_^" Somehow the craziness couldn't beat the adultness and the maturity of mine (haha again). what???!

Just saying. He's not listening. I said A but he wants B so now I'm worried. Bukan apa, saya sungguh la particular bila mai tang duit. xcaya? cer tgok prgai adik2 saya. sebijik mcm saya - tp bab duit ja la~ huhuhu,, walaupun saya yg start prgai kedekut tu tp depa yg melebih so saya xla teruk sangat... 3=) haaa~ bila geram ni start la ckp melayu.. -.-" acewah bajet omputih... =( tak2... satgi offended pulak kan,, 

=( ~somehow I'm sorry for myself for being so pity~ )=

tu je... 

Routines

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم...

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته يا اصدقأي~

Well3. It has been like decades since I last updated the blog (hyperbolic huhh..).. So I've been thinking for some relevant topics to be written but then I don't feel like writing about serious matters, so I came up with this topic. Routines. 

So what are some routines of mine that I practice daily or weekly or monthly or yearly or whatever is gradual and anual? =/  hehe... when it comes to thinking, I usually have no idea of what I usually do... =) 

Okay firstly, as what we can see and read I write on my blogs at least once a month. I previously write in a diary but found it much easier to just type and write and think in the same time, on my blog so,, here I am writing on my blog ^_^" and having the beautiful flower backgrounds and colors and fonts and sch, those things just enhance the mood to write. (haha...) 

Second of all, skin care is some routines I do but not too much. Let's just talk about look care. I do not do make-up-ing but recently I like to just apply some foundations or BBs. If you know what those are. I'm new too. (haha...) My sisters introduced them to me. My baby sisters yea. (az21na is so outdated you know -.-") Since I rarely meet my family, maybe only on weekends, so each time I go home I'll look for my 'special' cloth-wear to just be in the mood of meeting my beloved ones. =) Hijab. I'm a Hijabis,, I am very particular about how I put on my hijab. (of course, each and every woman has to be particular, not to intentionally look pretty but to make sure she covers  up her aurah).. So I prefer shawls, and I will consider some criteria before I own one or I wear one. =) Colour? Ouh. I'm a coriang type so, I don't really have problems about choosing. Shoes? I like them higher. =) Eventhough, it is not good for my spine structure, =D , I just can't refuse to seek the pleasure and satisfaction in them. Curves are curves. They happened. Now that I can't fix it so why worry ^_^" It is not that I have gave up, it is the fact, the reality =) 

Okay, so cooking routine. I hate cooking. to be honest. Because I just don't have talent and patience in doing such things. =) somehow I will become a wife so i'll have to fit in sooner or later ^_^" But if I cook, I like everything clean after I cook. The wall, the wok, the whatever la. Also, I like to be alone in the kitchen. =) and I like to put whatever I think will suit the dish. 3=) hahaha!

Supplementary routine? I mean in terms of medications. Erm, I prefer Evening Primerose Oil or Habatus Sauda' or Alfalfa or Spirulina or B-Complex . Those are particularly for skin or lady care. =) 

Yeah, last one, online routine. I've wrote about blogging routine, also, kerigu, the online routine such as emailing, facebooking, twitting, wechatting, whatsapping, whatever you call them, I do them everyday. Not to mention, the very light gaming. =) But I prefer playing wo paying. (stingy...) ^_^"

Hope I wrote well. So sleepy. =) So relieved. No stress for me and also for the ones reading. aamiin~ Also,, don't forget to pray for the the ones in Egypt, Syria, Palestine, the countries being prosecuted. Allah ma'akum~

The importance of your diet in fighting scoliosis!

The importance of your diet in fighting scoliosis!

Written By: Aatif Siddiqui D.C.

Scoliosis is a lateral curvature of the spine that affects much adolescence today. If there is a family history of scoliosis the likelihood of your child getting scoliosis is very high. In today’s world we now have a genetic test called scolioscore that can help to determine the probability of progression once your child has scoliosis. There are other factors that are related to ones scoliosis getting worse or even triggering it and that is diet.

Have you heard you are what you eat? Well it is true! Your body uses the proteins fats and carbs that you eat to build your body. Why is this important? Well garbage in garbage out. I believe one of the major issues why scoliosis is so prevalent now a days is because the quality of the food we eat is so poor. IN part due to dual income generating homes to support a greater cost of living, today’s dinner tables are plagued with convenient, fast-food, processed food. This is because both parents are working just to make ends meet and there is no times to prepare a good quality meal. But lets say you are more fortunate and one of the parents can stay home to cook good meals, well it is nearly impossible to find quality ingredients. Farming today is different than years ago. Hence, fruits, vegetables and meats different — nutrient deficient and worse and toxic. The label ‘organic’ means less and less each day. Consider strawberries fro instance, ‘organic’ strawberries are still sprayed with pesticides a few times. Organic beef can still be grain fed or grass fed and grain finished. Grain finished is still no good because it means the last 30% of there life they ate grain. Grain is not the diet of a cow nor is corn the diet of a chicken. Free-range chickens does not mean they spent their life out doors peck for worms and grubs, this is their diet. What happens the food is toxic or of poor quality. Then you feed this toxic food to a child that has the scoliosis gene and the body cant fight the gene, but this goes with any of the diseases that they trace back to some genetic trait.

Key things are to stay away from fast food sodas sugary drink. Also make sure to feed your child organic fruits and vegetables ideally from a local farm that you know or is well regarded. When it comes to beef make sure it is grass fed and grass finished. Ensure dairy and eggs, a great source of protein, come from cows and chickens, respectively, that are free-roaming and grass fed and grass finished. Chickens should be true free range living most of their life outside not stuck in a coup. Choose water is your drink choice. Consider doing food allergy, heavy metal, and neurotransmitter test. Avoid foods that trigger allergies or sensitivities. All of this compromise the immune system. Supplements in today’s world I think are necessary also to make up for the vitamins you can not get from the food you are presently giving to your child. Always consult with your Doctor as my opinions are merely my opinions.

copied and pasted from Treating Scoliosis

Discouraged

Assalamualaikum. 

Last month I had myself sit for my final examination for my 2nd semester of my first year of studies in college. Alhamdulillah I had moderate marks for carry marks. Neither too high nor too low. =) Happy with that. Done. But then, to check my provisional results, I had some slights which affects my gpa for sure. LOL. To make such mistake in my favorite subject ever since, wasn't really easy to digest. So I took some time to digest, and my parent called to check with the school whether or not the result is right because I had my self pretty clear with the exam in one of the subjects. I had three bad results and all involving my core subjects. So, the school party claimed I failed to an F for the particular subject for exam. That was why I failed regardless of the fact that I had B+ for the carrying marks. Well. It is kinda weird but says dean,, past is past... so, past it is. I felt very bad, but then I had option to improve that is to repeat my examination, thank God. 

The day of registration, I had myself pretty motivated by the dean, I managed myself pretty well and after that, I stayed at the library of the campus. Well, I had plans on my studies but then it didn't work out pretty well. So I have to change them so that I can celebrate Eid Fitri like always and manage my family with our journey going back to our hometowns. Too bad I don't have time making cookies. Not even meringue. Not even cakes. =( It's okay. InsyaaAllah I have better plans for the next Eid celebration.Somehow, I'm grateful that I failed. Because I never failed in my entire life.  Maybe this would be my stepping stone to keep me moving forward. Allah has arranged everything the best for us. InsyaaAllah. My studies journey, my meet to my future husband, my very own family organisation, He has arranged them all well for me. Alhamdulillah. 

Discouraged. I felt so because of how the motivational environment is so not practiced. It is, but starts from discouraging, then only I get persuaded. Somehow, sometimes, when I get angry, I seem to see nothing but anger which I myself never liked and I never realized since when did this attitude grow in me. Often I hear, in the fasting month of Ramadhan, syaitans are tied and jailed away from human beings. So what is left is Nafs. And Ramadhan is the month which we can know who we really are. However, on this noble month, I see myself so badly negative. Bad mannered. Stone-hearted. Which is not really who I used to be back then. Ya Allah. For who I am today, for why I became so useless today, forgive me. Help me change. Also, I do not deserve a kind-hearted partner yet. I don't deserve Your nikmaat... Ya rabbi give me guidiance and don't You take it away as soon as u guide me to the right path. 

For being discouraged, I know Allah knows what is it in my heart. But still I want to write this so that I remember a mistake I made and to become a lesson to whomever reading. And for being so grumpy, I wish I will recover and become soft-hearted and kind again. And I wish not to become worse. Na'uthubillahi min azzaalik~

Allah ma'a kum. Wallahu Alam.. =) 

Finally. The Jihad.

Assalamualaikum. =) 

I am back like how I was and insyaaAllah I am happy. Not because of the selfishness in me like I always am but Lillaahi taala. Allah knows how I really want myself to worship Him and concentrate. Now alhamdulillah with a little bit of courage, those jihad will finally begin. =) and I thank Allah, and am very grateful for the nikmats I have and the blessings He gave me and for how I live today and for what I hold onto. =) My dear friend, Innallaaha ma'a assobiriin =) That one final day will come and may He cherish us with joy and happiness on the Sirat Mustaqim. To Jannah. =) And now, Bismillahirrahmaanirrahiim, a new chapter in life =) Thank you for understanding. ;) Pumpkins and sloths and aliens and weirdos and minions, don't let urselves down yea! =) keep calm and remember what Allah says,, Kun fayakun.. =) 

A picture I like so much even at my first sight. Because I like it man in that particular jubah and women in that particular abaya. makes perfect couple. ;) and forsure for being such brave ones and generous to donate. =) how shame that I have my BMI too low for one. =)  

My Reaction??

Assalamualaikum and Hi.

I've been pretty busy here eventhough it is semester break? with what? adalah ;) Well. Somehow in this busy fussy moment, daily situation is something we really never miss. I mean problems. What a way of explaining. I meant problems all! And how do I categorize things as problems?

 First, the major problem, is when it comes to men. Yeah, I know how important a Hablum min an-nas is but to create one, Mashaa Allah. Can men just not understand a woman's gestures or signs that when we do not respond, it means go away but if we respond and be nice, then only it means stay and stay means STAY. =) Haha. Well. Do I have that 'please stay' guy? maybe =) Whatever it is, I know Allah has everything jot in the Luh Mahfuz, and my mom and dad will decide what is best so CALM DOWN AND ENJOY YOUR BACHELOR-SHIP! Well well well.. Look what I'm up to! ;) Hahaha. When men just requests for relationships, us women have to do a lot of thinking, especially about how our future will be, how would it be? But I admit, sometimes even if we know how the future would end, we can make pretty crazy decisions after all.... =) Wallahu'alam... =) There was one situation when somebody wants me to be his mahram for hajj or umrah (indirectly wants me to marry him). The offer is so tempting, but hey, I cannot just agree because of Mecca. Yeah I love Mecca, I love Madina. Maybe those are my some of my weak points but I felt something not right. And I took some time to think and at last I insist. =) Why? sebab cinta hatiku? Gahaha. Hilarious. Because I just never liked direct approach. I guess that's the answer. For sure not the only answer. He has the look, the harta, the pengetahuan and the akhlak. But I'm not really into him. and, I am just 20.... not even twenty... This coming October insyaaAllah... Whatever u are thinking, and whatever u've thought, girls, it is all written already so be cool =) 

Okay, second of all, when I behave as if I'm gonna die in a minute and it's okay if it is towards Hablum min Allah, but this is in the contact of lagha.. ='( I spend much time on Facebook compared to Quran and knowledge. Ouh dear how do I slow this down. I made Facebook my 'please stay' thing. =) Since when did this last? Since I had Facebook. Since 2011 I think. =) Alhamdulillah I had no Facebook accounts during highschool. To observe how the kids younger than me behave on Facebook, I feel so thankful and grateful that I had no social media attachment at all. =) But hey, Facebook is not harm as whole. =) But Quran is much better, I mean it has many good as compared to Facebook. So why Ignore? =) Anyways it's the 13th of ramadhan and I'm on the 15th or 16th Juz. Alhamdulillah. Regardless of my busyness, and my sleepyheadiness, my driving 'career', my housewife activities and ramadhan, my fast... =) ouh, and not to mention my so-called blogging. =) So, i think the conclusion is I manage time very badly and I couldn't manage without assistance. =) 

Also, how I find something a problem is when I have something I refuse to do but forced to. For example to study when I'm not in the mood to. =) Haha, but hey, will exams wait u? no right? So that was what happened last semester. =) Consequently, I had my grades so very thumbs down.. Then only I thought of shouldnt have been doing this and that but what is the point anymore. So head up, chin up, walk down the isle... eh2?? I mean move on... ;P haha... somehow, we have to look back into history so that we can reward ourselves some lessons... =) Other than studies, maybe to study?? as well... haha... I have problems with my studies lately. People call this culture shock. Vecause when u are at home u have your mom telling you to study but when u are at ur campus nobody can say anything about what you do. =/ Silly me.But, somehow I enjoy taking language classes. And those are how the grades help my CGPA =o Silly me again... Ouh, and my teachers. I refuse to learn when I find my teachers offensive, too strict and not strict at all are problems to me. =) Well2.. I should have behaved I know... I know I won't ever get the teacher I want her attitude to be like, so then I have to adapt with the surroundings and the situation =) Chill ! 

This is not the last but lastly, =) a problem to me is when I become speechless  and moveless and 'iced' (lol) to see sick people. Like how I am regretting and missing right now, on how I became speechless and moveless when I saw my late aunt fighting with cancer. Deep in my heart, I would really love to comfort her, tell her stories, encourage her, but then those are all regrets. =') I know. Arwah udak was a very kind person. And till now, the way she speaks just echos in my ears... They just hit my eardrums when I remember her. Seeing her children, alhamdulillah in great care of their father and insyaaAllah a great wife by his side, being tahfizs and tahfizah, I feel relievied. =) Some people may not agree, but hey, It is not important on how people see us do something. what matters is how Allah sees us. And hey, there nothing on earth which gets full support and is agreed by EVERY ENTIRE PERSON IN THE WORLD. Non, so as long it's according to Allah's syarak, and is not against it, move on. Do what you want.=)

 and ouh, I'm running out of heels picts. I just get lazy downloading any for the moment so I'd like to share and feel and remember how the air in Mecca feels like when we breathe them in =) LOLoves, Mecca... InsyaaAllah I'll be there when I am again, mentally and physically ready. Allahuakbar. Please einvite me there. =)