Wednesday, 12 December 2012

It Is Now The Time and Not The Time

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم ..
السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاتة...

The Time 

       I gave my grandmother a call just now. Last year, she went through an operation involving her spine. Now, she is recovering. However, since she is aged, she needs time to fully recover. Alhamdulillah, last month, my aunt gave birth to a baby boy, Ilham. My aunt and the baby was both in good state of health. Since my grandma has just came back from Kelantan (HUKM), so she asked when will we come back to our hometown. Omma gom  and appa gom, they have just arrived from my oversea hometown, Sarawak. Since mama and abah is not well, I have decided to spend my study week together with them, and nenek. Which means I will drive them back to hometown. What I noticed while answering to grandma's question, that is "It is now the time for me to take care for my mom and dad" which is true. Mom and dad,, eventhough they fight the pain, sometimes the pain could not be bared. Sometimes, it hurts when my other family members asks when can we go back? Seriously, appa gom, he is going through a lot. Spinal injury is not something 'just it'. I remembered, when appa gom was diagnosed about the sickness, it is not a deadly illness, but is very painful. Allah, He is giving the pain to abah to wash away his sins, Insyaallah.. Omma gom, after being diagnosed having minor stroke, she became weak. Whenever she gets sick, she will be really sick. This is the raeson I am worried if they go through long journey, that they will get sick. People! cannot you get this!? They are sick! Please, I beg you all. At least, understand the situation. Since it is time for me to take care of them, I myself have to grow up. Be mature. Decide well. Smile often. Focus. Studies should be my priority, but the top priority among my priorities is my parents. I hope my parents would understand my intention. I just love them,  cannot live without them and I wish to live with them until my last breath. الله اكبر ! I love them Ya Rabbii.. Give me time, that I can spend with them as long as I can. I know, I cannot be this emotional, because it is either one day I will lose them or they will lose me. Allahu 'alam...

Not The Time

       What is not time? When I see my friends having their 'calons' to become their whole-life-spouse, I'll become speechless. Yes. I should not look for one yet. One, because I am still furthering my studies, second, who on earth at my age can afford my living, unless he is elder than me, third, I do still have omma and appa gom, why do I waste them, forth, I do still have my ambitions and wishlists to be completed. Ya Rabb,, it is not easy to fight the feelings, the fitrah which women would be attracted to men, I do have them. But my target in my life, is something else. And when the time comes as You have written in Loh Mahfuuz..,, I will find one  Ya Allah. It is not the time for me to find love, my parents, and my sisters need me. Love you guys. Hope to see you guys in Jannah, hope our love ends Until Jannatullah!


May Allah bless u with His Barakah~
السلام عليكم...

Shoe of the day :
Took from Facebook in some Page..
It is just a shoe I like =)

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