Effort

Bismillah.

It's another 2 months towards becoming a wife and friend to a noble man, a daughter to new parents, sister to new siblings and life would totally change. Soon a mother.The feelings, only Allah knows. How far have I tried, my effort to become that woman who would have to deal with things. Being a wife is not being completely the only girl all the time. Yes, I realize all that.

Well, at all time we read quotes and articles about household. Some are very useful that people would use them for daily basis. Some are too optimist that they give too 'good idea' about marriage life. Husband would do that... Life would be perfect... bla3.. and some would completely critique marriage life. Husbands beat up wife.. Life would be miserable.. bla3..

The idea about marriage life is that it cycles. It's a wheel of life. Sometimes it's a miracle. It's paradise on the Earth. sometimes when it's not right then it's just not right, hell on Earth.

The idea is expectation about marriage life is destructive. Just go for it and give your all.

My effort. idk. I think i'm getting worse in all aspects. Attitude, emotional, whatever you name it. =.= Ya Allah Ya Latif. Give guidance please to this helpless slave. =.= 

Cooking?! so not me..

Bismillahirrahmaanirrahiim..

Peace be upon you, and all the Gazans who are going through tough situation in their country. May Allah inhibits the Israels right away. May victory be with Gazans.

Putting that aside, I am very upset with myself as I tried a lot of recipes, and finally I'll fail whether be it is a dish, a desert, cookies, whatever it is. So far I wrote down the recipes so that I will not forget. Hopefully it'll help. 

And surprisingly I bought 3 or 4 books regarding cooking things. And unsurprisingly I am not familiar with the ingredients itself and on top of that there are many ingredients which the whole family don't eat. 

So yeah, I'm done with cooking I guess. Dear husband to be, get ready to lose weight.

Women, It's Not Safe

Bismillahirrahmaanirrahiim...

Assalamu'alaikum..

I have this very small thought and feeling of insecure to ever live on Earth. recently, in my country, I read a lot of news regarding sex abuse. Of all things, sex crime is the most fear to all women, where nobody on earth would be pleased with. Nobody would consent such a crime to happen to themselves. 

Here in Malaysia, or even in the world, men are always dominant. Somehow when the wold has modernized, women are no longer belittled. But then still, sex abuse happens. Men abuse women, rare cases do happen where women abuse men.

In my religion, the law has put forth 'hudud' which means the bound where generally, for sex criminals, the punishment is a hundred lashes in public and a year of isolation. However, the punishments applies only if there are 4 witnesses of the crime. Hudud also applies for theft, but with different punishment. Once a theft is done and is found guilty, one hand would be cut. This law isn't done in my country for the country is a multireligious country and some things it is not fair that the punishments are different for certain race. 

Well, still, in my opinion, since the rapers think that the punishment are too little for them, they repititively, inhumanly and without right of mind, carry out sex abusive crimes towards women. Plus, in my society, a raped women are usually isolated for having no dignity any longer. MashaaAllah. The innocent women must have went though such a harsh life being sexually abused and abandoned in the same time. Imagine if the hudud is carried out, people will thing twice, maybe more than that to even approach a woman, or if it involves theft, to steal any thing.

I'm afraid what if it happens to me, or what if it happens to the persons I know, Na'uthubillahi min azzaalik... Hopefully not. What would be our future be like? I could not imagine. Please Ya Allah keep all women safe. Open their hearts to maintain and really take care of their dignity. The women showing off of their body, in my opinion are actually the reason to why sex crimes are happening. Yes. Men are bad too (some of them), men are of cruelty and lust too,  but they can be tamed when women take care of their dignity, abide the syari'a. 

I wonder, why do the media encourage women to show off their body for a certain addvertisement?? Why not show off men's body?? Why are women being "slaves" to the media, whilst the so called famous company gets the rest of the cents and the models gets a little tiny winy fraction of the profit which was mainly assisted by that particular add?? 

Allah has put forth the syari'a that women and men shouldn't socialize especially when not necessary. That is for a reason. The syari'a asks women to cover all their body. That is for a reason. The syari'a asks men to lower thier gaze, that is for a reason. The syari'a told us that women shouln't look like men and men shouldn't look like woment. That is for a reason. 

AND ONE OF THE REASON IS THIS. SEX CRIME. IF SYARI'A IS OBEYED PROPERLY, INSYAAALLAH THE PROBLEM WILL REDUCE AND EVENTUALLY SOLVED, BIIZNILLAH, IF ALLAH WILLS.

I've Changed a Lottle Bit

Bismillahirrahmaanirrahiim... 

Assalamu'alaikum and Hi...

I recently noticed that I have changed a lottle. Yes I meant little but a lot. Well, attitude-wise insyaaAllah I'm still the same person... 

But in terms of how I manage myself, that has changed. 

Normally, every time I wish to go out, I'll just decide the last minute, or just simply go out whenever I think I should. Now that I have make efforts to plan my day, where to go, when to go, which to go first and should I even go. I have this "tonne" of collection of scarves and shirts hanged, so I'll just grab whatever I THINK suitable and "BEAUTIFUL" and put them on, wallah... I'm ready... Of course la with my aurah properly covered insyaaAllah. 

Well, for some this is just a small matter but for me it is massive. Because consequently, I learn to iron my shirts, my scarves and even my pants! Can you believe that?! Because ironing is never a Yay for me. I usually yell and get mat at my sisters seeing them so carefully ironing their SWEAT PANTS... what?? So far I haven't went so far to even iron sweat pants, but I can't just condemn them anymore since, I'm starting to do what they do... fiuuhhh.... I haven't started to wax my scarf... I don't know... Okay,, mouth zipped! HAHA... 

Well, I think probably because I'm getting a step ahead towards marriage, that I think maybe people will notice me or something. LOL! but this is really funny! 

I realized things when I was getting ready for a so-called date and by that time I had to send my sister off first to her hostel. But then I haven't prayed yet, so I prayed in her room. Before I excused myself, I finish off my hijab and surprisingly, the hijab won't do and I BORROWED my sister's iron to smooth it off. And that was really weird and odd. So my sister wondered what was going on. She asked and I blushed that I had to told her everything. LOL. It was a moment of embarrassment for serious. And it was a moment of realization that I HAVE CHANGED! 

New Car

Assalamu'alaikum and Hi. Kaifahalukum??

Alhamdulillah now my life is more and less about my fiance and my family. Abah is not doing well, still. I just hope he is showered with His blessings and barakah and a lot of patience. Having spine issue isn't something everybody can deal with, with patience. I know too, because I also have spine issues. My fiance classifies it as an uniqueness. Alhamdulillah he gets it well. I would rather tell him earlier than waking up in the morning knowing that he regrets choosing me as his wife for hiding about it. Mine is not painful. Whereas abah's is very painful and since each and every part of our body is attached to our spine, then any part of the body may feel pain.  So far, his thigh and below is in pain and so, he has to consume on pain killer at maximum 4-6 per day. MashaaAllah. Please make something washes away his pain!

Coming back to the subject, alhamdulillah my fiance has bought his own car and I am happy for him. Not to brag about it, but I think it is a great achievement of his, and it should be something I should appreciate. Since I am a student, so he works alone to make money for our marriage. Yes. I'm the dependent kind of girl. Allah blesses him for accepting me the way I am. And so, he has to be very busy and work and work and work... I know I'm a tuyuk... =( Ouh dear... hopefully I can get up on my feet like everybody else. =) 

Meanwhile, I am asking help from a friend to plan the wedding. In the condition of my mom and dad not in their well being, my mom after her TIA attack last year, I know that I cannot make them involved in my wedding plan. Not to purposely exclude them, but I know they couldn't bare the feeling when they get tired. Allah knows.  May Allah ease our ceremony, may it be as simple and convenient it would be. Amiin. 

Engaged 16th March 2014

Alhamdulillah. 

Last couple weeks, I was proposed by a man. After couple arrangements, his dad contacted my dad for a meet and alhamdulillah, praise be to Allah that everything went smooth by March 16th 2014. We are planning for a marriage but after I finish study, InsyaaAllah in a year from now. =) 

Well, it is a pleasure for a lady to be proposed by a man with a very noble way -that our family is aware about our 'friendrelationship'. I know Islam has putforth love after nikah concept, but the situation now is that I am still a student. A lot of my family members agree not to let me marry at my age. I do not have the strength, I do not have the feeling to argue on that, so hopefully my fiance and I can be as patient and wise as possible, taking care of each other from the distance. Or not as we can communicate in so many ways.

Wedding list? I do not have one. My mom and dad taught me and my sisters to be as simple and moderate  as possible in our expenditures, so does our marriage expenditures. My fiance mentioned to pay everything on the ceremony, i don't how how it should be, but if it is true, we'll try to minimize everything. Maybe minimal and convenient. InsyaaAllah. 

Please pray for me and my fiance, insyaaAllah husband to be. May Allah blesses our noble intention. Amiin~ 

Going Home Often

I am a second year student and yet I failed to complete any of the tutorials given by my lecturer. Since my 2nd semester of my 1st year of study, I've been commuting from campus to home almost every week. Every Monday morning, all I will think of is to complete my tutorial questions which are 10 times more difficult than in the lecture, and on Thursday I will start thinking of going home.

Since I am the eldest sister, I have to fetch my little sister from college every Friday since she too commutes home every week. My friends kept asking every week, whether or not I am going home. And I rarely disappoint them because I rarely say no.

So when I say "Yes I'm going home!" what they usually say is "Lucky you!". A fact I've been going through up until today is that I never had the chance to complete my tutorials. Of three days of leisure, I usually spend my time with my family members going somewhere or sleep all day.

So I went to class with my eyes wide open and my empty-sheeted tutorials. Love is in the sheets you see. You know. Avoid wasting paper, save trees.  As if.

But still those who rarely go home also do not manage to finish their tutorials. Maybe they sleep all day too, or take a walk to somewhere. But there of course must be some girls who spend their weekends getting their hands dirty by doing the tutorial questions. Solute babes!